My Paper Mache World

We'd all stay up forever...
I'll dance until i'm dead...

I'm rattlin' right now...
I have money for another hit...
I'm ready to leave this place and get back in my bubble...

Somethings holding me back.
Somebody...somewhere is praying for me...

I can't handle the dark these days, its when i'm usually most active...
Stealing, dancing, chatting cod shit to strangers, raging around town... Living.

I just don't know what to do with myself.
I don't know who i am anymore.

The Final Hit.

Today i cried.
I cried for the first time properly in three months.

Today i picked up a book and read.
This was the first time i had read in about three months and actually in took the information.

Today i attacked my mother.
Not only did i feel her pain, but i felt my own pain i also felt everybody elses misery. I have severe memory loss from all the chemicals, somedays i remember whats gone on, other days my mind supresses it... those are rare, i savour them as i get a decent nights sleep...

See people take life for granted, i'd do anything to be in your shoes right now. Do you rely on drugs? I do.
And without drugs i don't feel alive.
Do you feel alive? How do you do it?

All i can think about now, is another hit. It makes me wet, you know how theres that one person who sends you moist? maybe that one person you'd anything for? Thats how i feel about whizz. Its all mine, its all about me, i shine on it. I can't function without it...
Putting a needle in your arm is one of the hardest things an addict will have to do... it seperates the recreational users, from the addicts...
All i can say is pinning' up is a darkhole, a hole many will never get out of...
i crawled out of that hole... with an inch of my life.
i wanted to die.

Three weeks on...
I've relapsed a few times, but i'm getting there...
My heads a mess.



All i can hear is music and voices.
I need one more hit...